


Inflamed Ache

by Oh_My (OhDearIGuessThisIsWhatIDeserve)



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Implied Relationships, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Other, POV First Person, References to Depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-08
Updated: 2018-12-08
Packaged: 2019-09-13 19:50:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16898856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OhDearIGuessThisIsWhatIDeserve/pseuds/Oh_My
Summary: Poor attempt at easing irrational heart ache.





	Inflamed Ache

**Author's Note:**

> This is inspired by Chapter 13—"Distracted Sex"—of ladyhedgehog18 & WeMightFall's "31 days of kink"
> 
> Understanding the source provides context. Therefore, is it recommended to read the aforementioned chapter before reading this.

 The poor kid. He was only trying to do what he thought was best, but in the process he only ended up making things worse.

 I guess that truly makes him human now, huh? Because humans do a lot of that. That being, _assume_ things. While androids have a tendency to  _presume_ things.

 

 So it's fine.

 Well, no. _It_ 's not fine, exactly. 

 I meant that more as: I don't blame the guy.

 I just wish I wasn't such a goddamn idiot, as to not listen to the logic that was nagging at me. Pointing out, the kid just barely started experiencing emotions.

 Of. Fucking. Course. The kid would be mixing up feelings of platonic affection with non-platonic. He didn't recognize the difference before.

 But now he does, so I should be happy for him.

 And I am, it just hurts. But that's nothing really new.

 While he was living with me, at some point I began to notice his continued presence had an affect on me. 

 The kid's curiosity, optimism, and confidence was sort of rejuvenating. Also annoying, but he'd get a grin out of me more often than a grimace.

 And that ache in my chest; the one that started to make itself known sometime after my life majorly went to shit; the one that's like someone squeezing my heart, almost making me want to heave whatever's wrung out with a knot stuck in my throat; gradually eased.

 But of course I just end up fucking it all over. That's what I deserve, for letting my emotions guide my actions. I should've already known better. Yet I did it again.

 Now that same old ache in my chest is back in full swing.

 I can't believe I almost forgot what it felt like.

 And what makes me feel the shittiest, is knowing that he voluntarily lied to himself about having feelings for me. Just for _my_ sake.

 He really shouldn't have wasted his breath. Neither should have I.

 

 I doubt the pain will subside at this point in my life. The idea of trying to date again, just to replace the hole he embedded and left in my life just seems pathetic and inconsiderant. I wouldn't be loving them for them. Just a replacement.

 Besides, I probably don't have many years left in me anyway. What with how much I've been drinking throughout these past years, and my eating habits.

 Connor tried to help with those as well. And he was, but they never stuck. 

 But if there's one good thing from Connor that stuck with me, it's being considerate of others.

 So I returned Sumo back to the shelter for adoption. He didn't seem to recognize the place. Which is no surprise, I got him from there when he was just a puppy. 

 It hurt watching him trot along side me to the adoption center. Oblivious to the fact I'm about to leave him and never come back. I even got a little paranoid as I left the front doors, that I would hear him whine for me or something. Of course, it never happened.

 It's for the best. It wouldn't be fair to him, to just assume somebody will come to investigate so he can be rescued from being trapped inside the house. And even if somebody does eventually come, who knows how long until that'll be.

 The neighborhood isn't friendly enough where people come and check in on each other every so often. So I'm pretty sure the only ones that'd notice would be my co-workers at the station. But they'd probably wait at _least_ four days until somebody does something about it.

 I can't stand the idea of Sumo going hungry. So, hopefully someone takes him in. Someone who'll take better care of him than I have.

 

 I also thought about leaving some sort of note. But there's not many people who care enough, that they'd need one.

 Maybe Connor, because I think he still cares. But I imagine he's trying to keep his distance these days. 

 

 I realize now, that I should've done this sooner. I was just desperately holding onto a fraction of hope for myself. Trying to be ignorant of the reality of it all.

 The reality is, I'm just a lonely old man who's slowly killing themselves with booze and deep fried food for lunch and dinner.

 I'm too fat and old to date, I don't make enough to 'travel and explore'.

 There is nothing left for me. I wasted my life mourning.

 So I'll stop prolonging the inevitable.

**Author's Note:**

> Any comments on spelling errors, illogical transitions, formating, proper tagging, or just writing tips in general?  
> I'd very much like to know! This is my first time ever finishing and posting a story...
> 
> I hope it didn't come off as too "angsty". 
> 
> I just quite like writing depressive and/or psychologically horrific stories. I found I have a tendency to write them better than other genres.
> 
> And also, thank you ladyhedgehog18 & WeMightFall for inspiring this work. However, in hindsight. I probably should've asked permission first, huh?
> 
> If so, I'm sorry. I'll be sure to ask someone next time. And if desired, I'll delete this post.
> 
>  
> 
> Thank you for reading.


End file.
